I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
