I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
