fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
