I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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