so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
