One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
