Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
