she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
