let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm both gender and math confused
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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