Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
