So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
