Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
why is half of my head shaved?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
