when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
