that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
