She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize