Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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