Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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