im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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