It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
