eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
