I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
