My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Drunk is not a location!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
