do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
