yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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