i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
