Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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