he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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