I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
