Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
