I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
