He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
