I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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