yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
