I've blown a few things in my day
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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