i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
