I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
