her vagina looked like bernie madoff
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
