She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
