i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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