Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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