So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
