please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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