It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
