Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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