i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
