I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
