I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
