it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
