I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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