This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
