this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
