OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you win again, gameday.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
