I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
