every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
