id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
