she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
