We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
