why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
